Don't let kids decide whether or not to leave husband
Jul 10, 2008
Dear Annie: I have been married to "Jack" for 35 years. In the beginning, it was OK.
Jack's parents struggled to support their family, whereas my parents were well off. Jack has often told people, "I married her for the money." This is a very painful thing to hear, yet he continues to say it.
We have two children and he is a wonderful father, but he lacks in the husband department. He often tells me I am stupid or ignores me, and when we have disagreements, he calls me not very nice names. Sex is almost nonexistent. I'm pretty sure he has someone else on the side.
My friends tell me this is emotional abuse and I should not have to live this way. I have a friend named "Mike." Right now, we are just friends. We talk and enjoy each other's company. He has been my rock for several years. I discovered several months ago that Mike is in love with me and wants me to divorce Jack. On several occasions, he has hinted so to Jack, which only causes more problems that I don't need. The thing is, I've fallen in love with Mike. He respects me and loves me, and being with him is much better than OK. I believe he is my soul mate.
My oldest child will be very angry with both her father and me if we divorce. She knows how miserable we are but doesn't care. She wants us to stay together no matter what. "Make it work," she says. I don't want to upset my children, but they are adults. Isn't it time for me to have happiness? - Lost and Confused
Dear Lost: Whether or not to stay with your husband is not a decision for your children to make. However, if you want to have no regrets, we strongly urge you to get counseling, with or without Jack, so both you and your children will know you tried your best to "make it work."
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