DEAR ABBY: My boss wants my cell phone number for "work purposes." He has trouble with limits, and I am reluctant to give it to him.
I have a home phone and will answer it when the boss calls. I arrive promptly at work, but leave the job there.
My privacy is important. I had a bad marriage, and there was stalking and invasion by my ex-husband. Those individuals who need my cell number have access to it.
I realize that many people use their cell phones as their only phones and others don't mind receiving calls, but am I required to do so?
I think this has upset my boss even though I have explained my reason. I don't use my cell phone on the job; it's in my purse except during personal time. Must I give up my privacy to keep my job? - WANTS PRIVACY
DEAR WANTS PRIVACY: As long as your boss has your home phone and can reach you in case of some emergency, I see no reason why he should be pressuring you for your cell phone number. Stick to your guns and don't apologize for it.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old girl whose parents have been married for almost 19 years. Mom started school two years ago to become a nurse.
She has always been an independent woman, but since she went back to school and is making her own money, she feels the need to be more free. Mom works eight to 12 hours a day. She leaves early and comes home late. She never stays for dinner when she's home, nor does she do anything with family anymore. She used to work in the same study as my dad, but she moved upstairs. She also won't sleep in the same bed.
Mom is seeing a marriage counselor, and she wants a divorce and to move away. She says nothing is broken in the marriage and there's nothing to fix - but why does she want to leave? She promises she won't see less of us, but she will be more than a half-hour away. She works nonstop and is constantly going out with her friends. Is there any way I can stop her from going? Am I selfish for wanting her to stay? - SHAKEN IN VIRGINIA
DEAR SHAKEN: You are going through a rough period, and you have my sympathy. Your mother appears to be so preoccupied with herself that she has forgotten she's a mother. Under the circumstances, all of your feelings are normal. Of course you want your mother and your old life back, and those feelings aren't "selfish."
While you can't stop your mother from leaving, you can ask her if you can join her during a couple of her therapy sessions so you can air your feelings in a safe environment and get some of the answers you're looking for. There are very real changes going on in your life and your parents'. You deserve some answers, and you are old enough to hear them.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of several years has just told me he won't marry me as long as I have student loan debt to pay off. I have always been upfront with him about the amount of money I owe. It's a sizable sum, but my credit is good.
He says he loves me but cannot, in good faith, start a life with me owing that much money. Abby, am I wrong to think that student loans should not stop two people who love each other from getting married? - LOANED OUT IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR LOANED OUT: No, you are not. And furthermore, I suspect that rather than the money being the issue, it's that your boyfriend has had a change of heart.
Dear Abby Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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