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SPORTS
> SPORTS COLUMNISTS
A Sideline View: The gift of understanding a child comes from within
Mar 24, 2008
- Special to the Free Lance
To understand a child's mind and their behavioral habits, deciphering their moods or what certain facial expressions might indicate in a critical game situation is a gift.
In the classroom environment, teachers have this gift. After a few months they can distinguish behavioral patterns and their instinctive knowledge allows them deal with each child in an appropriate manner. Like good child psychologists, they can feel and sense what a kid is thinking.
If you're a youth sports coach without this gift, coaching a team of young athletes could become frustrating over the course of the season. You might be asking yourself, how do I reach these kids and why aren't they responding to my instructions.
When kids aren't getting the message it usually has nothing to do with their athletic ability. You might simply not have the gift. Not everyone does, but to make the season successful from an emotional standpoint, you're going to have to figure out what makes each player tick.
Just as teachers notice positive and negative changes in the classroom, you have to notice them on the athletic field. Sensing behavioral patterns, mood swings or mental lapses on the field may change your approach on how you handle a certain individual.
Instead of bellowing out insensitive remarks that have no basis, you might look at the situation in a different light, especially if your in-touch with that player and how they react to you. Having the gift allows you to differentiate between things in that moment and can better prepare you for future incidents, be it positive or negative.
In today's society kids want to know why we do things and expect an explanation. They aren't as trustworthy of authority figures and coaches, mainly because they don't know what to believe based on what they've seen and heard. Gone are the days of running through the wall for the coach because he requested you to do so.
If you understand this modern way of thinking from the child's perspective and can recognize how to connect with each player and act on it, the team's personality will begin to emerge. Otherwise, you'll lose touch with individuals and that will spell doom in trying to develop a positive relationship with the player and his or her family.
Each team will have quiet kids, ones that are bossy, youngsters that are leaders or followers, timid children, defiant individuals, non-believers and trustworthy players.
Your job, or gift, is to mesh this group by recognizing each player's qualities and act on each one. The sooner you figure out each player's personality and behavioral habits, the sooner you'll become respected by kids and parents alike.
When your squad assembles on the field for the first time, quietly analyze each player, watch their actions, how they interact with their teammates and try to pick up on their personality. Reaching players, or having the gift, relies on your understanding of human nature.
Talk to the parents and get a sense of what they perceive of their young athlete. Some will be right on in their description while others will try to mask inadequacies. Others won't have a feel for their child as it relates to athletics.
By watching, listening and learning you'll become a better communicator, which in turn will enable you acquire the gift of youth sports psychology. You may not have a degree in child psychology per se, but as you gain experience in dealing with kids, your growth as an individual will bring you closer to possessing the gift.
I really believe the gift comes from within and is self-instilled; that's what makes the most successful teachers and coaches standout from people just going through the motions. They have a passion to exude their charisma and impart their words to kids.
In turn, I also believe every youth coach has the gift somewhere within themselves, and if they dig deep enough, and explore their inner self, that gift will emerge in a positive manner for both the team and the individual player.
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Rich Taylor has been coaching youth sports for over 25 years, is the Co-Director of the ACE Powerband national arm strengthening program and formerly scouted and coached in professional baseball. His column, A Sideline View, appears once a week. Reach him at rjtaylor23@yahoo.com
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